Breakfast of Champions
From the goatee days, there's a right way and a wrong way to spend a half-hour Metra commuter-rail ride. This is not the right way.

From the goatee days, there's a right way and a wrong way to spend a half-hour Metra commuter-rail ride. This is not the right way.
(Video: I swear I didn't eat the whole thing.)
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