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The Radioactive Donut of Indignity

There are many words that your doctor can probably go ahead and edit out of an oral report on your CT scan results. ‘Most likely benign’ are not among them. Given the rigamarole and drang I went through that led up to the words being written, I felt I had earned hearing them.

Fleet Week

There’s nothing like the feeling that you’re eternally just about to pass a frozen chicken to light a fire under your butt. Under those circumstances, however, home remedies can only go so far. Their effectiveness tends to run out much the same time that your dignity does, too. In my case, both limits were reached while lying prone on my hallway rug, attempting to squeeze an enema bag with one hand while shooing my cat away with the other, neither endeavor ending up a success.