The fact that I missed the two-year anniversary of Chicago Carless is a lot more important than the fall of my two-year relationship. So in celebration of the belated anniversary of my life being an open blog, I give you a look at the past 12 months of Chicago Carless.
Some people don’t like hearing about recovery–mine or anyone else’s. To others, stories of recovery are helpful tools on their own journeys to healing. I’ve heard both opinions regarding my recovery blogging here on Carless. The solution? Self select. Read or not as you are so inclined. But I give myself permission to write my own words.
These are, perhaps, the most unexpected words I will ever write in my life. Tonight, I came to believe in God.
Letting go is difficult when you don’t want to do it. It’s when you want to but can’t that you really get into trouble. Such is the story of my life–the life of a codependent.
Sometimes a bad day is not always a bad day. Now in the homestretch of my Hogtown life, today I started applying a new perspective to my life here, and to my future life in New York City. It was a day balanced on the funny line between joyously happy and absolutely not.
I get by with a little help from my friends. Wednesday night, sitting with my fellow GLYNY alums, Peter and Barbara, at the bar at Philip Marie in the West Village, I felt the truth of that. The restaurant is catering our GLYNY 20-year reunion event in November. We had come to check out the rumored-legendary fried green tomatoes. It was the first meal I enjoyed from beginning to end since the breakup.
Over a plate of drunken noodles is a very strange place to have an epiphany. But yesterday was no ordinary day, so I didn’t argue. In Washington, D.C., tucked in the back of a Thai restaurant in Adams-Morgan, I called my friend, Tom. As we talked through my noodles, I realized how much I’ve never gotten over my pretty turbulent childhood. Oh, hell.
With great sadness, I find myself in a position to edit my previous post. While my move to New York City may continue, my relationship with Devyn will not. After two years of effort forged in the face of what, in the end, turned out to be my insurmountable obstacles, Devyn and I have called an end to our partnership.