Readers frequently ask me, ‘Should I move to Marina City?’ Given my experience here, no, in my opinion I really don’t think they should. Not unless a.) you think nothing I’ve ever written about the place is true, or b.) you’re a masochist.
Friends rarely believe me when I tell them about the grandmother on a rocking chair who lives in the walls at Marina City. At least, that’s who it sounds like inhabits the cast-in-place concrete of my high-rise corncob home every time a stiff wind blows through downtown Chicago. Here’s proof.
So Gary Kimmel was finally sentenced to prison today. And Marina City’s just fine without him. Here’s a wrap-up of the pimp-dentist story in prose…and limerick.
Kneeling in front of the toilet bowl shortly after I moved into my Marina City high-rise home, I realized there are some things newbie tower dwellers have to learn for themselves. No matter how long you stare at the water line, you’re not going to see evidence of the building swaying. That was an early lesson in skyscraper living for me. So was this fact that evades most late-evening House of Blues concert-goers underneath Marina City: sound rises.
I am a glutton for punishment. I have the evidence to prove it: this week I signed my fourth lease for life in my Marina City high-rise home. Unfortunately, a recent flyer slipped under proves the drama in the corncobs continues. And that the condo office staff still hasn’t mastered the finer points of spell- and grammar-checking
My friend, Donn, the sole man, has been downsized out of a job. Now he’s talking about downsizing his apartment. He’s got a huge two-bedroom packed to the rafters with shiny nice things in a seedy corner of East Rogers Park. It’s never a bad idea to bring your lifestyle into agreement with your income. But I think more than finances are at play, here.
Today that, as many have long suspected would happen, Marina City’s formerly alleged pimp dentist (and former board member), Gary Kimmel, pleaded guilty to charges of money laundering in connection with a national prostitution ring operated out of several of Kimmel’s condo apartments.
The fun never ends inside Chicago’s upended corncobs, especially if you consider bald-faced lies by your condominium association entertaining. Last week, I brought you the tale of bone-headed new rules proposed by Marina City’s controversial condo board. This week, the board is trying to squeeze money out of film and TV crews–merely for shooting images of the Chicago skyline.
There are two ways to brand and position a world-famous residential tower: the right way; and the way downtown Chicago’s Marina City condo board is planning to go about it. Four words for Marina Citizens: don’t ask; don’t tell. Really?
On those nights when they burn the house down at the House of Blues, we shudder in Marina City condos above. Most of us are familiar with the midnight din of emergency vehicles looming loud and coming to a halt beneath our bedroom windows.