There are two kinds of Walt Disney World fans–those who take it well when bad things happen in the Disney bubble, and those who don’t. I’ll never understand the latter folks. They never acknowledge when shitty things happen in the 40 square miles of the Orlando vacation empire–and they’re downright bullying to anyone who complains about shitty things happening to them at the mouse house, too.

Back when Ryan and I were still Anaheim Disneyland Resort vets who ended up hating our first time at Disney World–before we fell completely in love with Disney World and switched our allegiances to the Orlando parks–I called this the My Little Pony theory of WDW fandom. Some Walt Disney World fans are so loosely wrapped that their entire identities and even self-worth stem from their Disney parks fandom.

Every online WDW fan has encountered them. They’re the ones who explode in fan forums when other people testify to uncleaned rooms, rude cast members, unreturned deposits, crowded buses, missed dining reservations, broken attractions, and every other kind of unexpected cluster, small or large, that usually doesn’t but sometimes does happen to guests at Disney World.

They make things even worse for such people–usually parents complaining about what happened to their families–by berating them, talking them down, and otherwise ridiculing them. Even worse, some major fan sites (yes, Disboards, I’m looking at you as always, but not only at you) have a vested financial interest in the parks, and literally cultivate this behavior to ensure no one reads an unhappy word about their mouse-eared theme park cash cow.

Ryan and I will continue to love thre fuck out of Walt Disney World and enjoy every second of our bounceback anniversary trip this December at Port Orleans Riverside. But we really did watch our formerly beloved Coronado Springs Resort melt down and have all its Mexicanidad sucked out of it over the week of my birthday celebration trip this month. When I blogged about our experience last week, I totally expected the little ponies to come out and whine–er–whinny.

A couple of them commented under last week’s post. My blog is not a democracy, however. Calling me names doesn’t get your comment published. Although I did think it was cute when the white frat guy on Twitter called me a racist for calling out the anti-Mexican theme changes at Coronado. Because, of course, you can tell everything about a person’s ethnicity by their last name. (Well, except when you’re Hispanic on both sides of your family and your Irish last name is nothing more than your mother’s former married name, mkay?)

Oh, the ass-hattery of people jealous that for a few days your family’s at Disney World and theirs isn’t. May they all come back from their next Disney vacations with Epcot golfer’s rash, ants in their Mickey rice krispy treats, and a deer tick shoved up their small world after alls.

And when I’m sipping my first Dole Whip float in December, I’m sure I’ll think it’s a great shame that they can’t suck it, too.

Categories: Disney World (Orlando)

Mike

I’m an #OpenlyAutistic gay, Hispanic, urbanist, Disney World fan, New York native, politically independent, Jewish blogger in Chicago. I believe in social justice, big cities, and public transit. I write words and raise money for nonprofits. I’ve written this blog since 2005. And counting...

My Bio | My Conversion | My Family Reunion

Follow My Socials: linktr.ee/mikedoyleblogger

Contact Me: mikedoyleblogger@gmail.com