(Photo: With a love life like mine, who needs an Edvard Munch exhibit at the Art Institute?)
I haven’t just been suffering through a string of bad dates this year. Like any improperly imperfect gay man my age, lately I’ve also been getting more than my fair share of standups, slowdowns, and excuses for breaking them in the first place.
Some of the excuses have been outlandish, others blatant baloney. But they’ve all been carefully written down, for tracking purposes if for nothing else. (You know, placed carefully next to a little headshot with a big red ‘X’ through it?)
Are any of them legitimate by-your-leaves or are they all just misplaced priorities? I’ll let you be the judge of that. It’s a young year, yet. I have a feeling I may have a regular feature on my hands. Thank God I stocked up on the St. Johns Wort…
TOP 10 WORST EXCUSES FOR BLOWING OFF A DATE (FEB 09)
- I forgot and now I’m having my tires changed.
- My friend’s mom is in the hospital and I think I better spend the weekend there instead.
- I know I’m late but I’ll be downtown in a minute, I’m just passing Schaumburg on the Kennedy.
- I have to go walk my dogs.
- I have a race to handicap for the morning.
- I have to study harder. Can we reschedule for two weeks from Monday or after?
- I probably should have told you I have a partner.
- I got food poisoning from the potluck I rescheduled you for on Friday.
- How about instead we roll around on some Bauhaus furniture listening to some late sixties European porno music and have some casual fun?
And the top worst excuse I’ve heard for breaking a date this year:
- I know I said I wanted to see you, but I’m bowling on my Wii bowling league tonight.
Personally, I wouldn’t stand me up. I mean, I’m handsome, I’ve got a big heart, a killer sense of humor, and all the blogging celebrity that can fit on the head of a pin.
But try as I might, meeting a nice guy in this town apparently takes just a Wii bit more.
I’m an #OpenlyAutistic gay, Hispanic, urbanist, Disney World fan, New York native, politically independent, Jewish blogger in Chicago. I believe in social justice, big cities, and public transit. I write words and raise money for nonprofits. I’ve written this blog since 2005. And counting...
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