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(Photo: With a love life like mine, who needs an Edvard Munch exhibit at the Art Institute?)
I haven’t just been suffering through a string of bad dates this year. Like any improperly imperfect gay man my age, lately I’ve also been getting more than my fair share of standups, slowdowns, and excuses for breaking them in the first place.
Some of the excuses have been outlandish, others blatant baloney. But they’ve all been carefully written down, for tracking purposes if for nothing else. (You know, placed carefully next to a little headshot with a big red ‘X’ through it?)
Are any of them legitimate by-your-leaves or are they all just misplaced priorities? I’ll let you be the judge of that. It’s a young year, yet. I have a feeling I may have a regular feature on my hands. Thank God I stocked up on the St. Johns Wort…
TOP 10 WORST EXCUSES FOR BLOWING OFF A DATE (FEB 09)
- I forgot and now I’m having my tires changed.
- My friend’s mom is in the hospital and I think I better spend the weekend there instead.
- I know I’m late but I’ll be downtown in a minute, I’m just passing Schaumburg on the Kennedy.
- I have to go walk my dogs.
- I have a race to handicap for the morning.
- I have to study harder. Can we reschedule for two weeks from Monday or after?
- I probably should have told you I have a partner.
- I got food poisoning from the potluck I rescheduled you for on Friday.
- How about instead we roll around on some Bauhaus furniture listening to some late sixties European porno music and have some casual fun?
And the top worst excuse I’ve heard for breaking a date this year:
- I know I said I wanted to see you, but I’m bowling on my Wii bowling league tonight.
Personally, I wouldn’t stand me up. I mean, I’m handsome, I’ve got a big heart, a killer sense of humor, and all the blogging celebrity that can fit on the head of a pin.
But try as I might, meeting a nice guy in this town apparently takes just a Wii bit more.
Categories: Dating
Mike Doyle
I’m an #OpenlyAutistic gay, Hispanic, urbanist, Disney World fan, New York native, politically independent, Jewish blogger in Chicago. I believe in social justice, big cities, and public transit. I write words and raise money for nonprofits. I’ve written this blog since 2005. And counting...
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It’s been said before, and much better than me:
“Mating is more a bitter truce than a willful embrace”
-Charles Darwin
and
“Love in action is a hard and dreadful thing compared to love in dreams”
-Fyodor Dostoyevski
I leave it at that!
I know. Imagine my surprise that Special Lady T was a normal awesome monogamy-minded lesbian who was 1) hot; 2) great in bed; 3) not a freak and 4) wanted to date me exclusively and have a regular old relationship! (P.S. We met on the Reader personals. I had the profile up for two and a half years before we met, though, and I never, ever checked it.)
Tony, they are overall. I have to keep repeating that.
Bea, actually, same answer. I have to keep repeating it, “they are nicer than NYC, they are nicer than NYC.” Oy, can you imagine what it was like before I left NYC?
Although mind you, Bea, OH MY GOD. I can’t believe you’re still standing after all that!
Oh, Bunny. I was single for THREE YEARS, dating what I affectionately call “The Cavalcade of Freaks” during that time.
I experienced:
* Dumping over email (SPECIAL.)
* Someone who broke up with me, saying he (he was trans) wanted to “be single for a long time” who met someone on the internet a month later and moved to the Pacific Northwest two months after meeting her to be her partner and raise her child.
* A 40 year old carpenter from Oak Park who played every team sport known to man who was not out to her parents and was afraid my presence in her life would out her.
* A girl who was still living with her 10 year ex-partner. Who was a sex worker. For whom she regularly booked hotel rooms and ran credit cards. And who called her every ten minutes when we were on dates. Oh, and I could never go over to her house. And she could never spend the night.
* A 22 year old bisexual who dumped ME to date TWO different guys and got mad when I got a “girlfriend” who was a lesbian. She accused me (in her blog, of course) of being bi-phobic.
* A date where I attended the first meeting between 22 year old bisexual and foot fetish dude. It lasted all night and consisted of me going to TWO bars with them as a chaperone and giving an unrelated straight dude at Liar’s Club a lesson on how to please his girlfriend.
(All’s I’m saying is that it takes time.)
Kisses.
by the way – go see that Munch exhibit. His paintings are WONDERFUL!!!
you told me the men are nicer in Chicago than in nyc…doesn’t seem like that’s the case, sadly…