10 More Things Brendan Reilly Should Stick in a Cave

(Photo: Alderman Brendan Reilly, a man willing to get to the bottom of the Second City.)

Of all things I thought downtown’s 42nd Ward Alderman Brendan Reilly would offer as a compromise in the ongoing controversy over the Chicago Children’s Museum’s proposed move from Navy Pier to Grant Park–especially after publicly calling out Mayor Daley on the issue–the last thing I expected was for him to agree with a reporter’s suggestion to stick the museum in a cave. Underground completely. Nothing sticking up in Daley Bicentennial Plaza except, perhaps, for a periscope and an enigmatic staircase leading down to the nether reaches of the Second City.

At first, I agreed with Chicagoist’s take on the idea: ridiculous. But the more I’ve thought about it, the more sense I can see in Reilly’s spelunking strategy. Who knows, the Chicago Children’s Museum might just set a precedent. Out of sight is, after all, out of mind. So in that mindset, I offer ten more things Alderman Reilly might want to consider sticking in a cave:

10. The CPS: Might as well put the Chicago Public School district down there. Saves the little kiddies from having to rappel down to get to the museum, don’t ya know?

9. The 42nd Ward Website: Seriously, the campaign’s long over. So why is there more useful content on Burt Natarus’ old website than on Reilly’s?

8. His Decision to Call Out Mayor Daley: Let’s do the math. Mayor Daley, 18 years in office. Brendan Reilly, 18 weeks in office. Whom do you think has the upper hand there?

7. Navy Pier: Just because I’m tired of giving clueless suburbanites directions.

6. Lois Wille: Author of the civic bible of lakefront preservation, Forever Open, Clear, and Free, and a museum supporter, to stop her pesky nagging when her words are used against her.

5. Burt Natarus: Because these days he’s batty enough to be in a cave, anyway.

4. Bob Fioretti’s Hairpiece: Still fluttering in downtown’s neighboring 2nd Ward since the day the man-who-would-be-Alderman begged for a piece of my birthday cake.

3. Macy’s: For obvious reasons.

2. The Second City Greens: Who, for the first time ever, will have a 42nd Ward committeeperson on the ballot in the primary.

And the number one thing Alderman Reilly might want to stick in a cave…

1. Mayor Daley: If only he could. Because after publicly challenging Chicago’s benevolent ruler, that’s about the only way the freshman Alderman will have any peace for the rest of his term.

No word yet on the exact location of the cave Reilly had in mind, but you can bet they already have an opposition petition going on the New Eastside….

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