Lately in the Chicago Tribune: The cold hell begins. Ugh. Barbara Brotman, shut up. If there’s anything I hate more than a Chicagoan who whines all the time about winter (and you know you do), it’s a Chicago columnist who leads the cry of “Fie on winter!”, as Brotman does in today’s Trib column.
Is Chicago colder during winter than, say New York? Yes. Is it colder or (God forbid) snowier than, say, Minneapolis? Um, no. Although it tends to be local sport to bitch about any month that you don’t play baseball in, it’s also tiresome.
Now I realize that this is probably the only thing that Chicagoans feel comfy complaining about all the time (unlike we New Yorkers who will complain about everything all the time, just ask Devyn). But, people, just dress for the weather and get on with life.
A hat, a scarf, gloves, a good winter coat, and, eventually, longjohns, and the presence of mind to put these items on when it’s 10 or 20 degrees outside, is all you need to be happy during summer’s off-season. I mean, I’m from back east where we tend to stay inside whenever it’s below freezing and even I’ve adapted.
Now, I know this is spitting into the wind, because nothing will change in the local psyche. But the next time you’re shivering in a sub-zero windstorm, pause before you blame winter and take stock of what, exactly, it is that you’re wearing.
Of course, none of this advice applies to Chicago newbies who go around dressing in windbreakers in January and then bitching to all and sundry. If you’re that dumb, I say freeze already. Mouth first.