Chicago Dictionary for Suburbanites
……….Target
Backyard……….Balcony
Car……….CTA
Rental Car……….Taxi
45-Minute Commute……….10-Minute Walk
House……….Condo
Mall……….Marshall Field’s
Mag Mile……….Michigan Avenue
Tourists……….Damned Tourists
“How do you get to…?”……….Damned Mapless Tourists
Navy Pier……….Tourist Trap
“Let’s go to Navy Pier.”……….“No way in hell.”
Sears Tower……….(see Navy Pier)
‘Burbs……….Cook County
Boonies……….Everywhere Else
Passport……….Needed to enter ‘Burbs
“Don’t Walk”……….“Walk”
“Coming soon”……….Block 37
“People of Color”……….Friends and Neighbors
Front Lawn……….Grant Park
Swimming Pool……….Lake Michigan
Downtown……….Home
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Other posts you might like from Chicago Carless:
Fear of Falling
Walking out my front door and into the remains of a bank robbery this evening brought to mind the absurdity of life. Never knowing where it'll take you, it's always best to be prepared for any eventuality. Like hearing the tornado sirens go off. Or wondering what happened to your parachute. Or finally finding out you're a t...
Walking out my front door and into the remains of a bank robbery this evening brought to mind the absurdity of life. Never knowing where it'll take you, it's always best to be prepared for any eventuality. Like hearing the tornado sirens go off. Or wondering what happened to your parachute. Or finally finding out you're a t...
I Remember
You have better things to do today than to read a post from me. There are far more important people in your life and you know you've been taking them for granted. Yes, I'm talking to you. Now get off the Internet, pick up the phone, and tell them so. No, I'm not kidding.
You have better things to do today than to read a post from me. There are far more important people in your life and you know you've been taking them for granted. Yes, I'm talking to you. Now get off the Internet, pick up the phone, and tell them so. No, I'm not kidding.
DMV (Delusion of Motor Vehicles)
Why suburbasauruses want to bring their cars into downtown Chicago is beyond me. Maybe it’s something in the water table out near 294. The remnants of some 1950s radium experiment gone awry that, over time, infects the brains of otherwise rational collar-county denizens.
Why suburbasauruses want to bring their cars into downtown Chicago is beyond me. Maybe it’s something in the water table out near 294. The remnants of some 1950s radium experiment gone awry that, over time, infects the brains of otherwise rational collar-county denizens.
